Lots of singers who gave a subpar performance tend to justify themselves. Oftentimes they’re like “Sorry, I caught a bad cold but had to carry on.”

But how come I’ve never seen any of them sneeze on stage? 🤔

A Christian taking the Bible and trying to dictate the way you live your life is as absurd as a raccoon enjoining you to dowse your cookies before eating.

Refrain from bulldozing anyone into anything with your goddamn religion.

If you think something’s wrong with people who refuse to abide by the Bible, probably there’s something wronger with you.

To make my pasta tastier, I spent 15 minutes stripping a bunch of thyme leaves from the stems.

I was literally a stripper working on thyme.

The Whisky War is now over!

🎉 Congratulations to Denmark on becoming the second country in the world that shares a land border with Canada!

To those countries fighting or hoping to fight bloody wars over territorial disputes, SHAME ON YOU!


A Canadian flag raising on Hans Island in 2005, left, and a Danish flag raising in 2002.From left: Canadian Department of National Defense, Polfoto

In 1984, Canada provoked Denmark by planting its flag on Hans Island and leaving a bottle of Canadian whisky. The Danish Minister of Greenland Affairs came to the island himself the same year with the Danish flag, a bottle of akvavit, and a letter stating “Welcome to the Danish Island” (Velkommen til den danske ø).

On June 10, 2022, Canada and Denmark settled on a border across the island, dividing it between the Canadian territory of Nunavut and the semi-autonomous Danish constituent country of Greenland to be unveiled June 14, 2022.

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I often say “I can’t do it.” It’s not that I can’t start out and finish up. It’s just that I can’t do it to perfection. If I could allow myself to half-ass everything and count them as achievements for all that, I’d come off as far less diffident.

LGBTQIA+ FOLKS,
HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!

Not only homophobes but also biphobes and transphobes alike are complaining about the massive celebration. All I can say is that there’s still three weeks to go before July 1st. And it’s going to get on your nerves again in another eleven months. Live and let live. #bearpride #pridemonth #pride2022 #bipride #pride #brotherhood

🎵 Wait a Minute! 🎤 WILLOW 💿 ARDIPITHECUS (2015)

I’m aware that my mailbox has been receiving more spam than ever. Since Fastmail (referral link here) is a very reliable email service provider, I believe the influx of spam is attributable to the direct mailto: link on my Contact Card page. So I’ve replaced that link with plain text, expecting folks to type in my email address manually when they need to reach out. I’m often bummed out that we have to inconvenience each other this way.

This is a three-day-old new release, but I like it a lot!

🎵 You Ain’t Running Yet 🎤 Andrew Hyatt 💿 Four Good Years (2022)

Well, at this point I still have no idea what Snapchat is. Is it a social media platform like Instagram or TikTok, or is it a messenger like Telegram or WhatsApp, or both, or neither? I’ve installed and deleted it a couple times. Couldn’t figure out a reason to stick with it. Couldn’t even be bothered to look into it. I might be a weird member of Generation Y. 🤷🏻‍♂️

❤️❤️❤️

🎵 …And to Those I Love, Thanks for Sticking Around 🎤 $uicideboy$ 💿 Stop Staring at the Shadows (2020)

— Last night I saw you and a hot chick walk out of Walmart arm in arm, carrying a bag of oranges and six beers. Who was that?

— Hon, it’s not true. Let me explain.

Sandra declined your voice chat request
Sandra declined your voice chat request

— Hon???

Sandra declined your voice chat request

— Not true? Whoa. I spotted you guys right there, OK?!

— Let me explain, babe, OK?

(sighs) What’d you say?

— We bought tangerines.

I believe the virus should supersede me at work and my boss is gonna like her better. She’s working relentlessly, improving herself incessantly, and bringing about new features every few months that the whole world has to take seriously.